So we're jumping around like numpties, trying to make sure we've brought everything we might need with us and not left anything essential in the car. The first thing we do is fill in our waivers and register ourselves. We get our bibs and cleverly decide to attach them to the backs of our tops - based on how many obstacles require you to crawl on your fronts I suggested this would be the best way to keep them throughout the entire course and the girls agreed.
Then we went to the toilet and got onto the important part of taping up our trainers, a tip I received from a fittie friend on twitter who completed a Tough Mudder in August. This was one of the best tips I could have possibly received, because it provided a horrendous amount of entertainment and was a definitely benefit during the TWO mud miles on our course.
Once we were all taped up we checked our bag in, wrote our numbers on one arm as instructed, put TOUGH CHEERLEADERS on the other for good measure, took a group selfie and headed to the start line for warm up.
Once we'd done a brief group warm up at the pre-start line, we headed to the start line. This involved climbing over a 6 foot wall! The teamwork was a go before the course even began! Once we were all packed in like sardines we had to acknowledge those who had already completed a Tough Mudder - one group of guys had done over 20. 20!!!! We had to say the Tough Mudder pledge, which basically says the course is a challenge and not a race, that you will assist fellow mudderers and that you will not moan because children moan and you are not a child.
And then we were off!
Obstacles:
Creek crusade: Travelling across a river, for most people it went to hip/waist height but for the three midgets aka #toughcheerleaders it was above boob height. There were two of these and as the weather was surprisingly nice it was actually very refreshing!
Log jamming: Climbing over and under logs. Not as easy as it sounds as the bark had been removed and they were incredibly slippery. A good warm up exercise to get you into the team spirit!
Glory Blades: 8 foot walls tilted towards you that you have to climb over. We did a prep to get Alice over, then I single based Jemma over. Some very helpful bloke in a blue top came and game me a boost over. S'all about the team work!
Mud Mile: This is where our team of 3 became a team of 5. Enter Ben and Rob. They're just two nice blokes who ran at our pace and who helped us out and vice versa. They were both doing their third Tough Mudder. The mud mile is so slippery, you have to simply embrace the mud. It's hilarious and beautiful and the best photos are the ones of two mud-clad hands gripped together. In my opinion.
Creek crusade: Washing off the mud so you don't weight an extra 5kg!
Island hopping: Jumping from one floating buoyance to the next. They're not equally spaced apart though which can catch you out!
Arctic Enema: A skip full of ice water that you swim across and have to fully submerge your head under. All three of us went together in a line which I loved. When you're under it's not actually that bad, it's when you come up that you don't know what to do with yourself. If you're me you run along screaming "my vagina's on fire!" because you've never felt pins and needles there before. Don't judge me unless you've done it yourself okay... hahaha
Sewer rat: Crawling through a tunnel and when you come out you drop into a big mound of mud and manure. The smell was divine! I didn't find this too bad because the tunnels have to be made to allow big burley men to get through but we aware if you're claustrophobic.
Just the tip: This is one of the obstacles I'm most proud of because I didn't think I'd be able to do it and I did! You hang on just by the tips of your fingers and shuffle along over water from one ledge to another along I'd say 6 feet. I was very proud of myself for completing this one! So proud I then faceplanted the mud at the end haha
Cliffhanger:
Pyramid Scheme: There was a dome you had to get to the top of and some ropes to pull yourself up but in the end people just started climbing on people and making a human pyramid. It was kind of cool but it was one of the obstacles that had the biggest backlog and a lot of waiting around so we got quite cold.
Hangin'Boa:
Hanging Tough: The aim is to swing from one ring to another and travel across to the other side without falling in the water. I do not currently have the upper body strength for this, nor could I reach the rings properly. Ben decided to give me a helpful push and pushed me with such enthusiasm I grabbed the next ring, slipped and fell straight into the water. I would have been significantly worse without him. Failed obstacle number 1.
Soggy bottom: Basically a huge muddy watery pit that you have to cross, again most people get wet to their waist, I was up to my neck. It was amazing!
Cage crawl: 20 metre swim on your back with less than half a foot of air before a cage encloses you. The feeling of being trapped really gets to you no matter how confident a swimmer you are or how close to the end you are. Clever obstacle.
Balls to the wall: Climbing a wall three and a half meters high using a rope - don't worry though, there are some planks of wood on the wall so you can use your feet to assist. You then climb back down the other side.
Hero carry: When you're really knackered and jogging seems like too much it's time to carry another person. And as if a piggy back were bad enough, because we were in a three we had to do what cheerleaders call a sponge or squidge, when the middle person puts there hands on the others shoulders and they carry her feet. We rotated throughout.
Trench warfare: Underground. Dark. Hands and knees crawling until you get to the end. If you're lucky you'll smash your good knee on a rock like me and then have two dodgy knees for the rest of the course! It's all good fun, you take a hit and hope for a "war wound" to show off your hard work!
Mud Mile 2: Just when you thought you couldn't get muddier. You definitely can.
Hero Walls: 10 foot walls, nothing to grip on to. Over you go! We put an extension up and popped people over that way, I even helped Ben boost Rob over so I felt like a solider! Haha we did see some poor guy fall badly on his shoulder though, it came out of place and went back in poor guy.
Kiss of mud: Down on your knees and elbows, scurrying along under barbed wire. Don't rip your hair out and don't look up. We had to wait a bit for this obstacle so we wiped our excess mud all over each other, Rob even made me a mud crown - what a guy!
Funky Munky: Monkey bars when you were kids? Almost. The first half travel up, the second half travel down. Me? Well I couldn't reach the first bar so I was a disaster! Failed obstacle number 2.
Boa Constrictor: You crawl in a tunnel that goes down, you come out in a watery sandy mess, you go into another tunnel going up, and have to crawl your way to the top. Generally not a bad obstacle at all, hurts the elbows but I think they put this one here to give you a breather before what is next to come...
Everest: Everest is a quarter pipe that you have to run at full pelt in order to have any hope in reaching the top. Successful mudders will lean over and grab parts of your anatomy (generally an arm or a leg) and help heave you up. The height is around 12 feet I would say, and it is covered in grease in order to make it more challenging. Jemma attempted it twice and gave up, Alice attempted it once and would have made it had there been someone there to grab her, and I was just about to have a go when there was a head/neck injury and they closed the obstacle. Devastated doesn't even cover it. Obviously I felt for the woman who was injured - nothing too major guys, a broken nose, sliced open eyebrow and quite severe whiplash - but this was one of the obstacles I was most looking forward to. Better luck next time aye? Obstacle not completed.
Electroshock therapy: Hundreds of wires hanging down, which ones will shock you, which ones won't? The finish line is literally the other side of this obstacle so I just went for it and for the first half I felt nothing, I actually thought they'd turned it off. Then I got a tiny shock and was like "Oh, no big deal." and then, right before I'm out "Bzzz!!!" one got me!
The run: 11+ miles. The running was the hardest part for me. I have a bad knee and although I wore my knee support it didn't take long for it to be dislodged. The girls were really good though, I just had to say "knee" and we'd slow down, or walk for a bit. They're good people to go with, they pushed me, I wanted to keep going, I wanted to keep up. It was hilly, and muddy, and at times tough. Who'd have thought it? A Tough Mudder was TOUGH? And MUDDY?
Crossing that finish line was so exhilarating. A ginger beer has never tasted so good. I love my headband and I love my t-shirt. I love that I can say I'm officially a Tough Mudder. I love that I can say I'm going to do another one. I've got the bug for sure.
If you're thinking of doing one stop thinking and just do. They're amazing. We started as a team of 3 and ended as a team of 5, but really, so many other people were in our team because so many others helped us out and vice versa. I felt so empowered completing it. I still do. It's by far the best thing I've done this year and I'd do it all over again - even though I spent the next day in A&E because of my knee. But hey, that's a story for another day!
And then we were off!
Obstacles:
Creek crusade: Travelling across a river, for most people it went to hip/waist height but for the three midgets aka #toughcheerleaders it was above boob height. There were two of these and as the weather was surprisingly nice it was actually very refreshing!
Log jamming: Climbing over and under logs. Not as easy as it sounds as the bark had been removed and they were incredibly slippery. A good warm up exercise to get you into the team spirit!
Glory Blades: 8 foot walls tilted towards you that you have to climb over. We did a prep to get Alice over, then I single based Jemma over. Some very helpful bloke in a blue top came and game me a boost over. S'all about the team work!
Mud Mile: This is where our team of 3 became a team of 5. Enter Ben and Rob. They're just two nice blokes who ran at our pace and who helped us out and vice versa. They were both doing their third Tough Mudder. The mud mile is so slippery, you have to simply embrace the mud. It's hilarious and beautiful and the best photos are the ones of two mud-clad hands gripped together. In my opinion.
Creek crusade: Washing off the mud so you don't weight an extra 5kg!
Island hopping: Jumping from one floating buoyance to the next. They're not equally spaced apart though which can catch you out!
Arctic Enema: A skip full of ice water that you swim across and have to fully submerge your head under. All three of us went together in a line which I loved. When you're under it's not actually that bad, it's when you come up that you don't know what to do with yourself. If you're me you run along screaming "my vagina's on fire!" because you've never felt pins and needles there before. Don't judge me unless you've done it yourself okay... hahaha
Sewer rat: Crawling through a tunnel and when you come out you drop into a big mound of mud and manure. The smell was divine! I didn't find this too bad because the tunnels have to be made to allow big burley men to get through but we aware if you're claustrophobic.
Just the tip: This is one of the obstacles I'm most proud of because I didn't think I'd be able to do it and I did! You hang on just by the tips of your fingers and shuffle along over water from one ledge to another along I'd say 6 feet. I was very proud of myself for completing this one! So proud I then faceplanted the mud at the end haha
Cliffhanger:
Pyramid Scheme: There was a dome you had to get to the top of and some ropes to pull yourself up but in the end people just started climbing on people and making a human pyramid. It was kind of cool but it was one of the obstacles that had the biggest backlog and a lot of waiting around so we got quite cold.
Hangin'Boa:
Hanging Tough: The aim is to swing from one ring to another and travel across to the other side without falling in the water. I do not currently have the upper body strength for this, nor could I reach the rings properly. Ben decided to give me a helpful push and pushed me with such enthusiasm I grabbed the next ring, slipped and fell straight into the water. I would have been significantly worse without him. Failed obstacle number 1.
Soggy bottom: Basically a huge muddy watery pit that you have to cross, again most people get wet to their waist, I was up to my neck. It was amazing!
Cage crawl: 20 metre swim on your back with less than half a foot of air before a cage encloses you. The feeling of being trapped really gets to you no matter how confident a swimmer you are or how close to the end you are. Clever obstacle.
Balls to the wall: Climbing a wall three and a half meters high using a rope - don't worry though, there are some planks of wood on the wall so you can use your feet to assist. You then climb back down the other side.
Hero carry: When you're really knackered and jogging seems like too much it's time to carry another person. And as if a piggy back were bad enough, because we were in a three we had to do what cheerleaders call a sponge or squidge, when the middle person puts there hands on the others shoulders and they carry her feet. We rotated throughout.
Trench warfare: Underground. Dark. Hands and knees crawling until you get to the end. If you're lucky you'll smash your good knee on a rock like me and then have two dodgy knees for the rest of the course! It's all good fun, you take a hit and hope for a "war wound" to show off your hard work!
Mud Mile 2: Just when you thought you couldn't get muddier. You definitely can.
Hero Walls: 10 foot walls, nothing to grip on to. Over you go! We put an extension up and popped people over that way, I even helped Ben boost Rob over so I felt like a solider! Haha we did see some poor guy fall badly on his shoulder though, it came out of place and went back in poor guy.
Kiss of mud: Down on your knees and elbows, scurrying along under barbed wire. Don't rip your hair out and don't look up. We had to wait a bit for this obstacle so we wiped our excess mud all over each other, Rob even made me a mud crown - what a guy!
Funky Munky: Monkey bars when you were kids? Almost. The first half travel up, the second half travel down. Me? Well I couldn't reach the first bar so I was a disaster! Failed obstacle number 2.
Boa Constrictor: You crawl in a tunnel that goes down, you come out in a watery sandy mess, you go into another tunnel going up, and have to crawl your way to the top. Generally not a bad obstacle at all, hurts the elbows but I think they put this one here to give you a breather before what is next to come...
Everest: Everest is a quarter pipe that you have to run at full pelt in order to have any hope in reaching the top. Successful mudders will lean over and grab parts of your anatomy (generally an arm or a leg) and help heave you up. The height is around 12 feet I would say, and it is covered in grease in order to make it more challenging. Jemma attempted it twice and gave up, Alice attempted it once and would have made it had there been someone there to grab her, and I was just about to have a go when there was a head/neck injury and they closed the obstacle. Devastated doesn't even cover it. Obviously I felt for the woman who was injured - nothing too major guys, a broken nose, sliced open eyebrow and quite severe whiplash - but this was one of the obstacles I was most looking forward to. Better luck next time aye? Obstacle not completed.
Electroshock therapy: Hundreds of wires hanging down, which ones will shock you, which ones won't? The finish line is literally the other side of this obstacle so I just went for it and for the first half I felt nothing, I actually thought they'd turned it off. Then I got a tiny shock and was like "Oh, no big deal." and then, right before I'm out "Bzzz!!!" one got me!
The run: 11+ miles. The running was the hardest part for me. I have a bad knee and although I wore my knee support it didn't take long for it to be dislodged. The girls were really good though, I just had to say "knee" and we'd slow down, or walk for a bit. They're good people to go with, they pushed me, I wanted to keep going, I wanted to keep up. It was hilly, and muddy, and at times tough. Who'd have thought it? A Tough Mudder was TOUGH? And MUDDY?
Crossing that finish line was so exhilarating. A ginger beer has never tasted so good. I love my headband and I love my t-shirt. I love that I can say I'm officially a Tough Mudder. I love that I can say I'm going to do another one. I've got the bug for sure.
If you're thinking of doing one stop thinking and just do. They're amazing. We started as a team of 3 and ended as a team of 5, but really, so many other people were in our team because so many others helped us out and vice versa. I felt so empowered completing it. I still do. It's by far the best thing I've done this year and I'd do it all over again - even though I spent the next day in A&E because of my knee. But hey, that's a story for another day!